and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
