I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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