dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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