She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize