47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize