Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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