her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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