ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
