Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
