Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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