Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize