yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
