he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
