and i looked up. we had an audience...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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