hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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