I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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