Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well you can't waste a boner
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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