You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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