Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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