I must be too annoying 4 u.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently the secret to your success is patron
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize