ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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