i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
