So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
