Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
