brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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