who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
