sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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