Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
