you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
