Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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