I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
vagina is talking i cant
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
