no. you can't hotbox the world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
