Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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