If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Of course I have a pirate flag
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
