he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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