yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
