You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
