I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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