i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
