Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
