Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
