I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
