last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
