I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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