I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
