maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
