Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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