I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
