You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
