Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
