I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
