I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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