her facebook's as public as her vagina
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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