just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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