He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize