Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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