4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
