Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
