Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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