i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
