if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
