Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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