This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Operation Purity has been aborted
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm at about main and main street
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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