I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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