That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
