She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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