3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
