dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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