Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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