Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
