This is the prime rib incident all over again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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