somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
