My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
