I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
