Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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