Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just found puke in my bra..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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