oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
