so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
