my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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