....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
