So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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