Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
