I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
