either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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