She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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