let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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