Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
