I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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