Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
