I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
